Butterfly Effect: “This is who I am now”

Love. Hate. Change. That’s Life (Photo by Hannah Nacis, LCA+)

 

It’s like I’m reading a book, and it’s a book I deeply love, but I’m reading it slowly now so the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you and the words of our story, but it’s in this endless space between the words that I’m finding myself now. It’s a place that’s not of the physical world, it’s where everything else is that I didn’t even know existed. I love you so much, but this is where I am now, and this is who I am now. – Samantha (Her)

A friend of mine reminded me about the movie “Her.” Months ago, Theodore split up with his wife and childhood friend. Then he came to purchase an Operating System in which programmed to suit his needs. He chose a female OS, thus, Samantha. Being at ease with each other, they fell inlove and come to a realization that the world (Human and Cyber) is large and there is still other beings living in it.

Being in my situation now that I’m still hurting and trying to cope up with personal things, I came to ponder more upon watching this movie.

People may see me as a jolly, cheerful and optimistic person. I am, but some time, I became this anti social, lonely and depressed person. All do pass this stage in life I guess.

Just last July, I left Philippines again and moved to Melbourne Australia. It didn’t occur to me that this time it is going to be different. I am going to be different. Since I came here, a lot had happened. As I said on my previous post, my first few days were my happiest. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. New place, new degree, new friends, new adventure. But with this new life, I still have my family and friends to think about. I live far from them but my life is still connected to them. They’re a part of me.

Reading this quote from the movie made me just nod. I mean, I am in her position right now. I can’t help the changes happening. I wanted to discover more things. I left someone special back home but it seems that we couldn’t make things work as of now. I’m trying to contain something from our relationship but I can’t find one. Just doubts on myself. Feeling confused, I still can’t figure out anything. How love works or how people sustain it.

In another movie, it was said that your love for someone will remain but is never the same as before. Change is inevitable. It’s either you grow together or you drift apart. It’s your choice. I wasn’t sure if we drifted apart. But I believe that we aren’t growing together anymore. Someone else was left behind. That’s a reality I can’t control.

I can say that I haven’t really changed a lot. I mean I just learned to express myself more here in Australia. I haven’t been this true to myself ever. I can blurt out things instantly now. I’ve been spontaneous with things especially with life. I interact with people now and try not to be so anti – social most of the time. I think people or my other friends just misconstrued my true self as change.

I always say that most of the time, people around you change and it’s you who isn’t. This might be true in some cases. But I realized that we both change. It is so abrupt that you just get surprised.

Change. Love. Hate. That’s LIFE.

P.S. I admit my fault and I said sorry for leaving and hurting him. 😦

The Butterfly effect: Stay or Go

I am starting this “The Butterfly Effect” in my blog today. This is looking through different angles of life wherein your actions and decisions in life affects or has an effect on others.

I haven’t really blogged or vlogged lately. Maybe because things seem to be going against my way. People seem to be unreachable these days. I mean I am not blaming them for doing things their way, but if somehow they still care things would be better.

You cannot really tell what will happen in the future. People just come and go.

I. There are those people whom you don’t expect to come. You willingly accept them in your doorstep, feed them and even let them stay. But what happens if this stranger becomes too comfortable staying at your place? Yeah you’re getting annoyed. But hey you, it was your decision to let him in. Nonetheless, you can decide to either let him stay or ask him to leave. What happens after he leaves? You both go your separate ways. It is your choice if you still want him to come back though. But what if he never comes back? Is it his lose or your lose?

II. Someone ,whom you became almost close to family, plans to leave. Should you ask him to stay? You know for a fact the he has a valid reason. It is for his own good. Yeah own selfish act most of the time. Because of this plan of leaving, he then disregards things or people whom he’ll leave. What will you do? What will you say to him? He decided his own fate, so just move on and stop whining about him leaving.

III. What if it is I who should decide whether to stay or go? What will I do? other people’s advice won’t matter still. It is I who needs to decide on what to do. It is a life long decision that most people experience. It may be as simple as staying or leaving your house to go to work or to the mall. One decision can change your entire life and others as well.

What will happen when you realize that you cannot do anything on any of these scenarios? Will you just go with the flow or will you still go against it? Will you be able to cope up with the changes that will occur? Think of it that at least your paths crossed whether anyone decides to stay or go. 🙂