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Taking Back Tuesdays: My Writing Adventure

August 25, 2014 Leave a comment

I have a good memory for when I started writing.This skill/ talent isn’t innate in me but I just developed it through the years. I think my whole totality started to come out since I started writing as well.

Back in my gradeschool, I used to be this awkward smart nerd in school whom everyone doesn’t notice (I think that I was invisible to them). Like one of my friends said, I talk to people which means I’m all over the place, thus, no permanent friends. Gradeschool in the Philippines is somehow like that. Every year you make new friends then mostly neglect your old friends. I even didn’t notice that not until my best friend now told me that I became a snob after Grade 2. hahaha. So much for being a friend ae. I think I just stopped being a snob and started opening up to people since Grade 5 and 6. From there, I developed close friends. I was less of the awkward girl that I used to be. lol. I think people started liking me in a good way atleast. I remembered one of our teacher gave us this activity wherein you divide a box into positive and negative. Your classmates can write to you on a piece of paper what they like or hate about you or if you did something nice or bad to them. Positive things sent to you should be folded and thrown into the positive side while a crumpled paper is into the negative side. More positive than negative things is a good start right.That’s when I started understanding myself better. Unknowingly, they like me as being nice, generous, helpful and a good friend.

When I started my Freshmen year in Highschool, we had a teacher who was also our adviser, Ms Helen. She gave us this weekly assignment of keeping a journal/diary in which she is the only one who can read it. I kept on writing and writing about stuff, people, etc in it. No hesitations. No regrets. It seems that it was my only pathway to expressing myself, my true self. I mean I’m not pretentious or anything. I’m just reserved and I have a hard time trusting people. Anyway, I started writing heaps and heaps. A page was not enough to tell everything. haha. Back then I wasn’t aware that there was an online community for writing,thus, blogging.

After that assignment, I started keeping a journal. Even though I tried hiding it from my brothers,they still find it anyway. So I stopped writing. That’s when I found out about Blogs. Since then I have a love hate relationship on my blogs. There was a time in which my friend got mad at me because of a post I made about her. Afterwards, that’s I became careful posting stuff.

My previous blogs were confused. No certain category. No Tabs. No anything besides me sharing stuff. That’s why I started this Blog.

My blog is my personal space. I get lost every time I compose something here. I can go to places, try out things, and be with people all around the world. You reading my blog is like me being vulnerable to you. I’m not good into opening up to people personally, but in writing, I can fully express and can find the right words to explain almost everything. 🙂

 

 

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Butterfly Effect: “This is who I am now”

August 19, 2014 Leave a comment
Love. Hate. Change. That's Life (Photo by Hannah Nacis, LCA+)

Love. Hate. Change. That’s Life (Photo by Hannah Nacis, LCA+)

 

It’s like I’m reading a book, and it’s a book I deeply love, but I’m reading it slowly now so the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you and the words of our story, but it’s in this endless space between the words that I’m finding myself now. It’s a place that’s not of the physical world, it’s where everything else is that I didn’t even know existed. I love you so much, but this is where I am now, and this is who I am now. – Samantha (Her)

A friend of mine reminded me about the movie “Her.” Months ago, Theodore split up with his wife and childhood friend. Then he came to purchase an Operating System in which programmed to suit his needs. He chose a female OS, thus, Samantha. Being at ease with each other, they fell inlove and come to a realization that the world (Human and Cyber) is large and there is still other beings living in it.

Being in my situation now that I’m still hurting and trying to cope up with personal things, I came to ponder more upon watching this movie.

People may see me as a jolly, cheerful and optimistic person. I am, but some time, I became this anti social, lonely and depressed person. All do pass this stage in life I guess.

Just last July, I left Philippines again and moved to Melbourne Australia. It didn’t occur to me that this time it is going to be different. I am going to be different. Since I came here, a lot had happened. As I said on my previous post, my first few days were my happiest. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. New place, new degree, new friends, new adventure. But with this new life, I still have my family and friends to think about. I live far from them but my life is still connected to them. They’re a part of me.

Reading this quote from the movie made me just nod. I mean, I am in her position right now. I can’t help the changes happening. I wanted to discover more things. I left someone special back home but it seems that we couldn’t make things work as of now. I’m trying to contain something from our relationship but I can’t find one. Just doubts on myself. Feeling confused, I still can’t figure out anything. How love works or how people sustain it.

In another movie, it was said that your love for someone will remain but is never the same as before. Change is inevitable. It’s either you grow together or you drift apart. It’s your choice. I wasn’t sure if we drifted apart. But I believe that we aren’t growing together anymore. Someone else was left behind. That’s a reality I can’t control.

I can say that I haven’t really changed a lot. I mean I just learned to express myself more here in Australia. I haven’t been this true to myself ever. I can blurt out things instantly now. I’ve been spontaneous with things especially with life. I interact with people now and try not to be so anti – social most of the time. I think people or my other friends just misconstrued my true self as change.

I always say that most of the time, people around you change and it’s you who isn’t. This might be true in some cases. But I realized that we both change. It is so abrupt that you just get surprised.

Change. Love. Hate. That’s LIFE.

P.S. I admit my fault and I said sorry for leaving and hurting him. 😦

“Even Misfits can fit in”: Benny & Joon (Movie Review)

August 7, 2014 Leave a comment

It was a gloomy morning for me. The sun is behind the clouds and it is somewhat raining. I slept last night wondering of things and woke up feeling the same thing.

After two hours of slacking into my bed, I pulled myself up and made toast and tea for breakfast. I looked for a decent movie (in my landlords collection).

http://deppmad.tripod.com/id10.html

That’s when I found an old movie called “Benny and Joon.” You know how I do my reviews ae. I don’t put a summary or plot here on my blog but instead find things to ponder within that movie. To tell you honestly, I still can’t find the proper words for this review. haha

I have been fascinated with movies that are about Psychological problems and Misfits.A factor why I liked the movie was because of Johnney Depp. He is really a great actor. He had portrayed lots of characters throughout the years.

“She paints, she reads, she sets things on fire.” – Benny

Being mentally ill, Joon just does a routine everyday. Most days she just does these things. Hey what’s wrong with these? Ain’t these so fun and relaxing yeah. (excluding the fire part. lol)

“Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?” – Joon

I still remember him from the book “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Everyone seems to be fascinated with him even though most are scared. Like I am, misunderstood by people as being antisocial or too introvert at times, I like to detach myself to people and be alone. I always tell people that sometimes I just need to step back to see the reality. You can understand life more by doing such. Same with people, you can understand someone once you get to know him personally. Never be judgemental on things, people and life.

“Joon: Did you have to go to school for that?

Sam: No, no, I got thrown out of school for that.”

There are things that are not learned from school. People have either innate talent or developed skill. Sometimes, those people who are pulled down by others are the ones who push themselves more to be better. 🙂

“He keeps me up at night watching stupid old movies, my work is starting to suffer.” – Mike

There are times when you found someone to be a bit burden on you, and sometimes you can’t see their importance because you’re blinded with things. Giving them a chance to show their skills and capabilities. You might even discover that he/she is a blessing in disguise. 🙂

On Misfits:

I think I am an example of Misfit person. I’m not too mainstream or too hipster. I’m the “In Between.” I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not just to fit in. I have my own pace in life and in almost everything. Misunderstood by people, I developed this attitude of “I don’t care if they’re talking about me.” Of course I still do care about what they think of me but I’m not pretentious. I can’t say that I am eccentric like Sam (Depp). But I know I’m indifferent. you don’t need to explain yourself. Be who you are. Show them what you’re capable.

BENNY & JOON: 4 THUMBS UP

For the first time in Forever: Hi Melbourne

August 3, 2014 Leave a comment

I am starting my blogpost with a big SORRY!!! I was suppose to update you guys when I went back to the Philippines last March. But due to my netbook being dysfunctional and me procrastinating, I haven’t really got any update on my beloved blog. (I might blog about my summer vacation in the Philippines some other time. I mean I can make a travel/location post about those anyway.)

Whenever some thing new happens into my life, that is when I begin to post again.

So here I am again in a new place and back to University to study. After almost 3 months of vacation in the Philippines, I pushed through my plan on going back to Australia. But now, I moved to a new city, Melbourne, Victoria.

Unlike in Bunbury, I didn’t know anyone there which made my first few months hard and lonely. A few years back, I tried to contact my childhood classmate, Vincent, whom I knew moved to New Zealand. To my surprise, their family moved to Melbourne.We started messaging each other when I decided that I wanted to come back and this time in Melbourne.

On July 17, I finally arrived. He offered to pick me up from the airport and was so kind to let me stay in their place for a few days.

I had no expectations towards the city. I just came here to work and study. Saturday, we decided to go to the city. Since I’m not a fan of shopping malls, I told him to bring me to places wherein we can also shoot (photo).

Starting the day with Brunch at Trotters in Lygon street. Every bite of Gnocchi Beef Ragu is a spoonful.

And because we’re both photo enthusiasts, he decided to bring me into a camera museum in Michael’s

Overwhelmed with cameras. haha (Photo by Vincent)

One of the most photographed place in the city

Federation Square. Sometimes, performers are here

Degraves street

I think the highlight of our tour/shoot that day is the Graffiti walls:

Im so happy in this photo. Hosier Lane (Photo by Vincent)

We went to Union Lane and Hosier Lane. I think these graffiti changes everytime.

After a long day, Chicken Curry (forgot where we ate. Too hungry and tired.lol)

Melbourne Central (Mall) has this old train station look.

After a day of walking, talking and shooting, Vincent decided to take me to Brunetti to try something.

“His Tiramisu and Her Cheesecake”

I will have a separate post about Brunetti and their Tiramisu in Heaven. lol

This was a great start for me. I haven’t felt this rush in a long time. I even said that I thought I was still dreaming. I really can’t find the right words to describe everything in one post so I will try my best to post as much info next time. I think I’m too overwhelmed of everything until now.haha

**Hopefully, my next posts will have better photo quality and more informative. haha.

To see more about Melbourne, check out this link.