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Finding oneself is a continuous process

November 17, 2013 1 comment

I should’ve just published this post the first time I saved it. I wrote this last November 17,2013 before going to sleep.

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I didn’t realize that it has been a month since I last posted here. So I was on my anti social days for the past month. I just got back from my holiday of ten days and will start working again soon.

I will tell you more about my holiday some time. For now, i just want to share some things about my life experiences.

Losing oneself and getting it back.

For the past months, I’ve been having this moment where I am losing myself in the process of finding it. I was so destructed and stressed out on things that really don’t matter at all. I always tell myself not to think too much. This is the hardest task to do for me. I tried to pause for awhile. I couldn’t think of any possible reason not to overthink anymore. I should, I must.

Detaching myself to people Im getting close to is my way to avoid me getting hurt and disappointed too much. I am never a fan of that 100% giving my love to others. I still keep atleast 35% for myself. Despite of keeping away from these people, i wonder why I am still feeling close to them. Maybe I learned to lower down my walls since the day I decided to open up to them.

Getting myself back may also mean that I just need to go back to my roots, aka my family. I just spent time with them, away from work, friends and other people. It felt really refreshing for me. Maybe I just needed time off from others and be with my family..

Going into a holiday somewhere really helped me find my alone time, at least away from work. places and people I’m too familiar. I am that kind of person that is never contented staying in one place and doing the same things over again. I just need to ponder around to get relax and inspiration every now and then.

Until now, I am not 100% sure that I have found myself again. I just think that at least I regained some parts of my lost self now. haha. Anyhow, I think finding oneself is a continuous process isn’t it? So I am not that bothered anymore if I still couldn’t find my other parts even years from now.

What is in front of me is what matters now. I should just deal with my present instead of over thinking and stressing myself out to my future. I know that when the right time comes, “Everything will fall into place without forcing it.” 🙂

Cheers,

Hannah