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Butterfly Effect: “This is who I am now”

August 19, 2014 Leave a comment
Love. Hate. Change. That's Life (Photo by Hannah Nacis, LCA+)

Love. Hate. Change. That’s Life (Photo by Hannah Nacis, LCA+)

 

It’s like I’m reading a book, and it’s a book I deeply love, but I’m reading it slowly now so the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you and the words of our story, but it’s in this endless space between the words that I’m finding myself now. It’s a place that’s not of the physical world, it’s where everything else is that I didn’t even know existed. I love you so much, but this is where I am now, and this is who I am now. – Samantha (Her)

A friend of mine reminded me about the movie “Her.” Months ago, Theodore split up with his wife and childhood friend. Then he came to purchase an Operating System in which programmed to suit his needs. He chose a female OS, thus, Samantha. Being at ease with each other, they fell inlove and come to a realization that the world (Human and Cyber) is large and there is still other beings living in it.

Being in my situation now that I’m still hurting and trying to cope up with personal things, I came to ponder more upon watching this movie.

People may see me as a jolly, cheerful and optimistic person. I am, but some time, I became this anti social, lonely and depressed person. All do pass this stage in life I guess.

Just last July, I left Philippines again and moved to Melbourne Australia. It didn’t occur to me that this time it is going to be different. I am going to be different. Since I came here, a lot had happened. As I said on my previous post, my first few days were my happiest. I haven’t felt that way in a really long time. New place, new degree, new friends, new adventure. But with this new life, I still have my family and friends to think about. I live far from them but my life is still connected to them. They’re a part of me.

Reading this quote from the movie made me just nod. I mean, I am in her position right now. I can’t help the changes happening. I wanted to discover more things. I left someone special back home but it seems that we couldn’t make things work as of now. I’m trying to contain something from our relationship but I can’t find one. Just doubts on myself. Feeling confused, I still can’t figure out anything. How love works or how people sustain it.

In another movie, it was said that your love for someone will remain but is never the same as before. Change is inevitable. It’s either you grow together or you drift apart. It’s your choice. I wasn’t sure if we drifted apart. But I believe that we aren’t growing together anymore. Someone else was left behind. That’s a reality I can’t control.

I can say that I haven’t really changed a lot. I mean I just learned to express myself more here in Australia. I haven’t been this true to myself ever. I can blurt out things instantly now. I’ve been spontaneous with things especially with life. I interact with people now and try not to be so anti – social most of the time. I think people or my other friends just misconstrued my true self as change.

I always say that most of the time, people around you change and it’s you who isn’t. This might be true in some cases. But I realized that we both change. It is so abrupt that you just get surprised.

Change. Love. Hate. That’s LIFE.

P.S. I admit my fault and I said sorry for leaving and hurting him. 😦

Feed my Appetite for Art

June 14, 2012 Leave a comment

I’ve been always fond of making To Do List since young. This is my way of keeping things organize and keeping me updated to those things I wanted and needed to do (Short Term Goals).

By late last year, I had put a list on what to do before flying to another country with just few months of stay left here in the Philippines. That time, I don’t know if my list is possible to accomplish with just a little time left.

Anyway, this is my list:

*Organize my papers for internship

*Set up a 3ooopc puzzle

*Buy an Acoustic Guitar

*Write a composition (Poetry, essay, etc)

*Paint on Canvass

*Make and Upload video on youtube

*Make a Lomowall

So far so good right. Because of a friend, I became inspired to write poems and paint. Look at my Literary Menu for my poems. I also started contributing article to Lomography.com. Today I was published again. Here’s the Link on “A Glimpse on My Fisheye World on Canvass”

Here’s my 2nd painting found on my said article:

A Glimpse of my Fisheye World

This was my first video on Youtube. Actually I made this for my bf. 😛

I won’t say I’m good at these things. But I just wanted to try other things as well. 🙂

Come to notice my list, these things feed my appetite for art. These things brought out my creative side. 🙂

Binondo – Intramuros Date with the SR Guys

May 10, 2012 1 comment

Binondo and Intramuros have been one go to place to those who want to shoot, atleast for Shutter Revolution Members. Last May 4,2012, Some members of the group (Eric, Happie, Aden, Lex, Brylle, Teo and I) decided to have  a photowalk and food trip at Binondo.

Some of us met at Ministop Hidalgo while we met others in Fortress. But while waiting, most of us looked at camera stalls. I bought LR44 Battery in a low price (15php, while 25php in malls). Finally I can use my LCA+ again. I also brought Olympus Pen EED. It’s been a while since I last used it. It’s as if I don’t know how to use it again. 😦

Anyway, because the weather is kind of gloomy, we decided to start our walk to Binondo and find a place to eat our lunch. I still remember the last time I was here. I joined the group in our Chinese New Year photowalk.

Chinatown (Photo by: Hannah Nacis Vivitar IC 100 x Fuji Provia)

It was January 23,2012 that they held Chinese New Year. That time, the whole Chinatown was in celebration. Firecrackers and beating of the drums can be heard and performers seen.

Performers (Photo by: Hannah Nacis, Vivitar IC100 Fuji Provia)

Back to the current walk. We decided to eat in the famous “Estero” where they serve frog as a dish (of course it’s cooked). We decided to order Pancit, Buttered Chicken and Crispy Froglegs. At first look, the crispy froglegs looked like the buttered chicken. Some says it tastes like chicken. I don’t know if it’s just me but I liked how good it tasted. Maybe because of the way they marinated or seasoned it. (Okay sorry I forgot to take digital photos).

From Left: Teo, Lex, Aden, Happie, Eric and I (Photo by: Brylle Instagram)

After lunch, some of us wants to go to Tayhua to check for something (I think it’s cable release). Most of them said that products there are cheaper than in Hidalgo.

On our way:

Signs and Chinese decors (Photo by: Hannah Nacis, Olympus Pen EED True Colors)

Virtual ‘Pendong’ and Sleeping Manong (Photo by: Hannah Nacis Olympus Pen EED True Colors)

Binondo Church (Photo by Hannah Nacis LCA+ Lucky Color)

After Tayhua, Brylle suggested Big Scoop (escolta) for Ice Cream. (Okay sorry again, no digital photos). I think this was one of the happiest moment. We were actually having fun eating ice cream, especially Eric, Teo and I. We had a hard time deciding what to order. Finally, we decided to order a pint (65php each) of Mint Chocolate and Bubblegum Mallows. Kuya Eric described the Bubblegum Mallows flavor as “Too girly” which seems if eaten Butterfly, unicorn and stars might pop. LOLs.

Walking down (Photo by Hannah Nacis LCA+ Lucky Color)

Due to circumstance, Brylle and Lex needed to go. The rest of us (Aden, Eric, Happie, Teo and I) walked to Intramuros to shoot. Everytime we go to Intramuros, we always stop by the Graffitti wall.

Graffitti Wall + Skater Boys (Hannah Nacis LCA+ Lucky Color)

Kuya Eric, Happie and Teo decided to drink (beer) afterwards while Aden and I went home.

In totality, even though they’re all guys, I had fun. 🙂

*More photos here and here

SR 1st year Anniversary/ Mustache Party

April 30, 2012 Leave a comment

It’s been 2 weeks since I attended Shutter Revolution’s first year Anniversary/ Mustache Party. We celebrated it last April 15, 2012 at Ninoy Aquino Parks and Wildlife Quezon City.

Photo by Manuel Chua

The group was formed because of our interest in Analog Photography (also for Lomography). Actually we were from another group back then but due to circumstances, most of us decided to form another group. We were not mere acquiantance but we became friends as time passed by.

Anyway, it was picnic style of celebration and also we incorporated it with mustache. Each of us must have his/ her mustache (for fun). Each of us brought something for potluck. The moderators also prepared stuff to be raffled.

Photo by Manuel Chua

Photo by Manuel Chua

Of course I still met some newbies. 🙂 One member, Sir Vince, actually brought his stuff to sell. I was really tempted to buy, so I bought 3pcs Sensia 100iso and 3pcs negative films (I forgot what film). I also bought a pouch (which was made from empty Pancit canton wrapper) from my friend Tsi.

I forgot to tell about what camera I used. I brought my LCA+ and Lumix LX3. I borrowed my friend’s Recessky TLR and loaded it with Ilford 400. I was somehow saddened because my LCA+ was dysfunctional those days because of low battery. 😦 Good thing I borrowed the Recessky. It was my first time to use it. Actually I was fond of it because of the view (I mean the viewfinder). It looks cool (we call it TV/Live show). Some people use it for portraits. And because Ilford is Black and White film, I decided it would be better if I use it for Portraits.

Photo by Hannah Nacis (Recessky TLR x Ilford)

At 4pm, we went near the pond and shoot there also.. Few months before my departure, I really want to enjoy my time with  Shutter Revolution. 🙂

Photo By Jerilee (Sprocket Rocket)

*And yes, I don’t have digital shots of the picnic, but atleast I did nice shots with the Portraits (Click here)