Posts Tagged ‘self’

Taking Back Tuesdays: 3 years ago..

January 19, 2016 Leave a comment

I was thinking of what to post this week. So I tried reading back some of my post. I have my own TBT and I started it 3 years ago. I was in excitement those days. I was soon be off to Bunbury Australia.

Sometimes, you have been blessed to do what other people dreams of doing. It wasn’t my dream to go out of the country and work and settle. I remembered one of my College professor asking me if I have plans to go abroad once I finish my degree. That time I said to her, I don’t intend on going somewhere else. The thought of leaving people behind is terrifying. If in case I don’t know someone in that foreign place, I don’t have any idea on what to do, worse, how to live my life.

I am living in someone else’s dream. I keep telling people this. It was also not my dream to become a chef. Well I have lots of dream. I wanted to do a lot of things. But during my College days, I chose to be a Culinary Arts Major. People don’t know that I only learned how to cook and such during College. Being a girl, I am expected to know how to cook. But then again, I cannot even prepare a simple dish. Anyway, since I started working, I basically started out as a cook then got my qualification to be a chef during my internship. I am fortunate that I earn a decent amount and love what I do. I always think that I am living someone’s dream so might as well make the most out of it.

It will work out, eventually. A friend asked me if I want to try applying for Internship in US. It didn’t work out for us. Then again, she found an alternative place, Australia. The hardest part is the decision. I asked people about it as well as ask my mom. She didn’t agree on me living alone in a foreign place wherein we don’t even have a relative. It’s such a pain asking for her permission as well as financial support for my plan. My friend talked to her and finally she agreed. After a year, I decided to stay here. She didn’t want me to go back. But I pursued her into letting me go. I used up all my savings and paid for everything. I sorted out my application and such. And here I am now, living solo happy and contented.

So what have you been doing 3 years ago?


Taking Back Tuesdays: My Writing Adventure

August 25, 2014 Leave a comment

I have a good memory for when I started writing.This skill/ talent isn’t innate in me but I just developed it through the years. I think my whole totality started to come out since I started writing as well.

Back in my gradeschool, I used to be this awkward smart nerd in school whom everyone doesn’t notice (I think that I was invisible to them). Like one of my friends said, I talk to people which means I’m all over the place, thus, no permanent friends. Gradeschool in the Philippines is somehow like that. Every year you make new friends then mostly neglect your old friends. I even didn’t notice that not until my best friend now told me that I became a snob after Grade 2. hahaha. So much for being a friend ae. I think I just stopped being a snob and started opening up to people since Grade 5 and 6. From there, I developed close friends. I was less of the awkward girl that I used to be. lol. I think people started liking me in a good way atleast. I remembered one of our teacher gave us this activity wherein you divide a box into positive and negative. Your classmates can write to you on a piece of paper what they like or hate about you or if you did something nice or bad to them. Positive things sent to you should be folded and thrown into the positive side while a crumpled paper is into the negative side. More positive than negative things is a good start right.That’s when I started understanding myself better. Unknowingly, they like me as being nice, generous, helpful and a good friend.

When I started my Freshmen year in Highschool, we had a teacher who was also our adviser, Ms Helen. She gave us this weekly assignment of keeping a journal/diary in which she is the only one who can read it. I kept on writing and writing about stuff, people, etc in it. No hesitations. No regrets. It seems that it was my only pathway to expressing myself, my true self. I mean I’m not pretentious or anything. I’m just reserved and I have a hard time trusting people. Anyway, I started writing heaps and heaps. A page was not enough to tell everything. haha. Back then I wasn’t aware that there was an online community for writing,thus, blogging.

After that assignment, I started keeping a journal. Even though I tried hiding it from my brothers,they still find it anyway. So I stopped writing. That’s when I found out about Blogs. Since then I have a love hate relationship on my blogs. There was a time in which my friend got mad at me because of a post I made about her. Afterwards, that’s I became careful posting stuff.

My previous blogs were confused. No certain category. No Tabs. No anything besides me sharing stuff. That’s why I started this Blog.

My blog is my personal space. I get lost every time I compose something here. I can go to places, try out things, and be with people all around the world. You reading my blog is like me being vulnerable to you. I’m not good into opening up to people personally, but in writing, I can fully express and can find the right words to explain almost everything. 🙂



Life Inspiration: “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” (Movie review)

January 5, 2014 Leave a comment

It’s been so long since I last had a movie or book review here. Anyway, I watched this movie on New Year’s Day and I can say that it is a great movie to jumpstart my 2014. The title itself made me curious on what the story is all about besides that it is a Ben Stiller movie. Anyway, read on if you’re interested on what I saw in this movie.

I wouldn’t even start spoiling you with summary of narration of the movie. Go watch it yourself!!lol. hehe. I watched the trailer and all I can think of was maybe I should watch this in theater instead of me waiting for its copy. It might not be a popcorn movie, but I know that it is worth paying for.  It’s about love, life, finding oneself and journey. Maybe it’s a bit haha. If you’re into photography, journalism, mystery, life story and travelling, you would enjoy this.

There are also life inspiring quotes which I recall from the movie.

 “Beautiful Things don’t ask for attention.” – Certainly, the least noticeable things are the most beautiful of all. Sometimes even the most dangerous things are the most exciting to do.

“Life is about courage and going into the unknown.” – You don’t need a lot of courage to try something. Just trust yourself and you can do anything. J Not knowing is scary, but not trying is scarier.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – This is the highlight quotation from the movie. It is simple yet very inspiring and straight to the point.

I’m like Walter in a sense that sometimes I have this Zone out moments but not to the point of exaggerating over things. Haha. I mean like a day dreaming sort of Zone out. I was scared to try things. I was stuck in one point of my life not knowing what to do next. But certainties made me try new things in life and made me realize what I’m missing.

I’m not sure if I told you that I’m not a risk taker when I was younger. The fear of failure and rejection comes whenever we think of risks. But you won’t be able to conquer or do anything unless you try isn’t it. You’re just trying to escape or take another way instead of trying. Life is full of risks to jump into. Whether it’s going to be worth it or not, you just need to see the world and experience it. If you won’t succeed the first time, it’s normal. Try again until you get the satisfaction that you want. Never keep yourself in a box. Explore and see the world in a different perspective. You might be surprised on what you’re missing. Being frightened is normal, you can take baby steps and even bring a torch to lessen that fear. You can ask for help if there’s a need. You can also ask for a company (friend/ family) so you won’t feel alone going thru that risky rocky path that you’ll take. Never stop dreaming. Never stop trying.

Seeing this movie made me want to explore more, find myself more and take risks farther than I expect to. At this point of my life, I’m going thru certain issues and life decision. I am afraid, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.

Hope that I inspire you with something upon my review.


“It just flew away”. Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014

January 1, 2014 1 comment

this is it.. my year end summary.. i do it ever year to look back at memories.. but I think the last time I did this was back in 2010.

“Madaming nagbabago. Pero may mga bagay parin na hindi na magbabago.” – lourd de veyra, Rakista narrator


☺I never had a new year’s resolution. lagi naman.. (same answer every year. ahahahaha)

╚ i can cope with anything.. any hardships that I encountered, i can say that I am still standing.
╚ people come and go, yet I can bare with whatever.
╚ in the end, it’s all on me. Advices are just there.
╚ it’s okay to get hur just as long as you stand up again.
╚ im still into blogging.. (it’s here that I can post almost everything)
╚ still striving hard in my career
╚ I can be independent but I still need help. hahaha

• gone to Australia for my Internship and be independent
• meeting other races
• having mistakes and learning from it.
• travelling by myself
• hanging out with my friends (especially my new found friends)
• taking risks


♣March 14 I left Philippines

♣March 18 I started my Internship

♣ May 16-18 3day long Birthday Celebration away from home

♣ June 24 I started to move on

♣ Oct 15-30 met new friend. became my close friend 🙂

♣ Nov8-14 yey gone to Singapore wth mom, aunt, lil bro.

♣ Dec … ❤

♣ Dec24,25 first time spending Christmas away from home

♣Dec 31 Last Dinner Service at work. 🙂 Busy but so much fun.

♦ this year, I regret doing something. It was really stupid for me. I won’t tell this here but all I can say is I should’ve waited longer. 😦

◘ leaving in a foreign country with no family, friends or relatives

◘ House party. hahahahaha

◘ no social life apart from work

◘ Long distance relationships.

◘ being independent and living solo.

◘ spending my own money to buy something expensive

○ bitter things..
○ sad moments
○ awful times
○ bad experiences
○ people who ignored me and just notices me if they’re in need/bored

*Same old stuff everytime haha

♦ maybe nothing. i can still do the things i did in 2014.

**as always, I don’t plan too ahead. but just for 2014, I had set a 3year plan.

♥ finish my internship and go back to the Philippines
♥ learn how to drive (before going back to Australia)
♥ attend a MakeUp Class (beginners and pro)
♥ spend summer somewhere
♥ Sort things between my new boyfie and I
♥ plan an out of town trip with boyfie
♥ stay healthy
♥ stay thrifty
♥ go back to Australia to study
♥ buy a car (hopefully after I get my tax return on July)
♥ shoot more
♥ buy laptop or dslr
♥ travel to other parts of Australia
♥ SAVE!!!!!
♥ go to music and art festivals
♥ go on holiday in Bali?

**hope I can fulfill most of what’s in here.

♥TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS: thanks. sorry. i love you!
♥TO GOD: thanks for everything.. may you bless us all..


**I am sure that I didn’t post a lot for this summary. anyhow, I hope it’ll suffice you, my readers, about my life.

Christmas Eve worth remembering

December 25, 2013 1 comment

This year’s Christmas Eve is so different for me. I have a close family bond and every occasion is celebrated in our family. We’ll go out and have lunch or dinner in a fancy restaurant. Sometimes, we go out of town and enjoy the sun and the weather. But this year is my first time to celebrate this festive event away from home.

I don’t know what to do, where to stay and what to prepare or if I should even celebrate it. I think this is also the first time that I’m not excited to celebrate. I always follow the countdown from the 100 days before Christmas. I used to list down names of family and friends whom I will give gifts. I used to message all of my friends online and personally. I am a jolly believer of Christmas Season.

This year, I am in Land down under (Australia). I am alone with no family nor relatives. I only have some friends and workmates to celebrate. When I went to the big city, Perth, I bought some gifts for my friends and went gaga shopping for myself. hahaha. Day of Christmas eve, 24th December, I worked Split shift. I spent my break looking for other gifts for my friends and finished my gift wrapping.

Recently, I found my new special someone. He is in the Philippines miles and miles apart from me. We couldn’t help but become sentimental over things we could’ve done together for this season. Like me, He works away from his family. In other words, he’s gonna spend Christmas alone with no family at home. When I told my mom about this, my mom and brother asked him to spend Christmas Eve at my place. I wasn’t even sure if this was serious. But I still told him that. Without any hesitations, he said yes. I was shocked because I don’t know if he’ll go there without me. It’ll be his first meeting with my family and I’m not there. Terrifying isn’t it!!!! I was so anxious that I couldn’t sleep well that night. hahahaha

Christmas Eve, I was at my close friend’s home. My mom called her if I can stay there and spent Christmas Eve. We have a festive Noche Buena. I also had a good talk with my boyfriend and family over skype and viber. I was seeing them so happy that I didn’t even feel sad that I’ve got to spend that night away from them. They were so happy. I am happy.

Afterwards, I had another alone time with boyfie. It was really such a good talk that we almost slept 4am. hahahaha. (I’ll tell you all about him next time okay. 🙂 ). He woke me up at 7am to tell me he is off to work and that he had a great Christmas Eve with my family.

Spending Christmas Eve away from home isn’t bad after all. 🙂




Finding oneself is a continuous process

November 17, 2013 1 comment

I should’ve just published this post the first time I saved it. I wrote this last November 17,2013 before going to sleep.


I didn’t realize that it has been a month since I last posted here. So I was on my anti social days for the past month. I just got back from my holiday of ten days and will start working again soon.

I will tell you more about my holiday some time. For now, i just want to share some things about my life experiences.

Losing oneself and getting it back.

For the past months, I’ve been having this moment where I am losing myself in the process of finding it. I was so destructed and stressed out on things that really don’t matter at all. I always tell myself not to think too much. This is the hardest task to do for me. I tried to pause for awhile. I couldn’t think of any possible reason not to overthink anymore. I should, I must.

Detaching myself to people Im getting close to is my way to avoid me getting hurt and disappointed too much. I am never a fan of that 100% giving my love to others. I still keep atleast 35% for myself. Despite of keeping away from these people, i wonder why I am still feeling close to them. Maybe I learned to lower down my walls since the day I decided to open up to them.

Getting myself back may also mean that I just need to go back to my roots, aka my family. I just spent time with them, away from work, friends and other people. It felt really refreshing for me. Maybe I just needed time off from others and be with my family..

Going into a holiday somewhere really helped me find my alone time, at least away from work. places and people I’m too familiar. I am that kind of person that is never contented staying in one place and doing the same things over again. I just need to ponder around to get relax and inspiration every now and then.

Until now, I am not 100% sure that I have found myself again. I just think that at least I regained some parts of my lost self now. haha. Anyhow, I think finding oneself is a continuous process isn’t it? So I am not that bothered anymore if I still couldn’t find my other parts even years from now.

What is in front of me is what matters now. I should just deal with my present instead of over thinking and stressing myself out to my future. I know that when the right time comes, “Everything will fall into place without forcing it.” 🙂



Soul Searching: My Antisocial days

October 8, 2013 Leave a comment

These past few months, I’ve been all over the place. I mean I feel like I made a mess out of myself. It didn’t occur to me that I am losing myself, my old good self.

This post might be self – absorbed but please just read and bear with me.

People say that it is better to “Be yourself” at all times. But what if you are losing yourself in the process of finding it? The search into finding myself here in a foreign country is too tough. I told myself that this experience is like “Soul Searching” for me. I just realized that here I am again in the same situation of losing myself. The change was too abrupt that I didn’t realized, not until now, that it made me such a mess. I began to worry and stress more over simple things. Yes I do over think most of the time, but it’s my nature.

I have no family or relatives here. I just developed friendship with some people and others still acquaintance. Living alone here put a big impact on my well-being. I did some things differently and even did new odd things. I am easily influenced by my surroundings. I wasn’t like this before. I am doing wrong and unimaginable things these days.

After some realization, I begun telling myself that I need to be antisocial for a while and detach myself to people and to things here. I need to find out what’s wrong and bring out the goodness in me. I made a “Note to self” post on my planner to remind me of what I should do.


I don’t know how long this would last but I hope it would turn out well for me.

P.S. I won’t stop posting or blogging though. This is one of my outlet so I’ll continue. 🙂